I just wanted to blow him and can’t recall why. Maybe I felt like having sex but didn’t feel like taking my panties off, didn’t want to be penetrated. Maybe it was a sudden whim for dick in my mouth.
Sometimes it’s fun to go into a sexual interaction with focus on another human. Forget my body, ignore anything that could be a distraction, inhale their balls.
Maybe this doesn’t happen for you. Maybe the gender you prefer is different. Maybe you’re not into oral sex.
He has this thing about prioritizing female pleasure. There’s a whole flock of adult men who internalized the same values and carry the same concern about being “that guy.” You know, the technical cartoon one who ejaculates, rolls over, and immediately starts snoring.
It’s lovely in a lot of ways. Sometimes it backfires and they start counting orgasms. Overall though, better a sexual partner care to the point of nervousness than not care at all.
But back to that blowjob. I wanted to focus on it, he wanted to run his fingers over my labia. I grabbed his wrists, gently planted them next to his hips, and watched as he immediately rolled his dominant hand out of my grip.
I thought “Well, no need to broach the subject of being tied up.” I said “Not naturally submissive” and one or the other of us broached it later.
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Also published on Medium.