Hello World

Hello World,

(Please, fuck, tell me someone out there gets the reference.)

I’d like to start by rewinding all the way back to my stoya.tumblr.com blogs. Many of those early writing-ish-things were titled “Stoya vs. ____,” a format stolen from Chuck–a show I used to like having on in the background while I sewed things to other things or glued rhinestones to various kinds of stuff. I learned a lot about how people who are sensitive to social justice concerns tend to interpret words and statements. I was also pretty clearly telegraphing the fact that life frequently felt like a battle to me, if not a war.

(I couldn’t see it at the time, but other people could.)

Later, people started asking me to write things for their publications in exchange for money. For about 18 months I took basically every gig that was offered. I learned a lot about how freelance writing works, about small scale exploitation under–um, neo-liberal?–capitalism, and why a good editor is worth at least 10x the weight of a publication’s prestige or traffic. My year freelancing for VICE gave me a crash course in the mad-and-looking-for-someone-to-take-it-out-on flavor of troll.

(Predictive text suggested “women” instead of “someone” in that last sentence. This feels accurate enough to mention in an parenthetical.)

Then came Graphic Descriptions. I was being told I needed a domain of my own, and I knew that my presence on any individual social media network or blogging service was subject to change at the whims of new ownership, founders responding to straw concerned-public demands, totally automated “inappropriate content” reporting systems, and evolving ToS’s. A (theoretically more stable) web presence required a name, so I did what I tend to do when I can’t find one that feels right: describe what it is.

And indeed, I posted blogs describing (in fairly graphic ways) the world around me and what I was up to. When these things were about a sex scene, I added links out. But I was never able to write *just* to get-and-send clicks to push porno. That’s a skill I wish I had, and an aptitude I know I don’t.

And then I stopped writing. Entirely. I could barely even email.

It took a few months for me to understand what the block was. All that previous writing had been addressed to the Entire Internet, and the Entire Internet had become a bit terrifying. Threats like “I’m going to fuck your spleen” were harder to laugh off, and some MRA group had posted something claiming to offer a bounty for putting this bitch behind bars. It took a whole damn year for me to find that one funny… and then it was hilarious.

Seriously though, the Internet felt scary enough to make the writing part of me freeze up.

Over the summer I tried a couple of things and managed to write two real pieces: A poem about blowjobs that was sent as a newsletter and a lengthy description of a Balkan gonzo porn adventure with Zak Sabbath.

Then I went back to troubleshooting that writer’s block problem. The poem had been a way of saying hello to one of the men who was mentioned as a blowee; I knew he subscribed to the newsletter. The Balkan gonzo porn blog was written for friends who I knew would enjoy hearing about the adventure–at their leisure, as opposed to in a 90 minute one woman show.

This fall, Graphic Descriptions was having some malware issues. Rev Mitcz had scooped up hellostoya.com as a possible solo site, and then we decided we still don’t want a Stoya solo site.

(Solo site like the traditional porn thing where there’s one female performer and a range of visual media content of her in various stages of undress and/or fuckery.)


On Friday, 20 January 2017, I went to AVN/AEE to sign for four hours at the Fleshlight booth. A few things were very different from previous conventions. I was calm. I had my own security human (they’re much more affordable than I’d thought.) And every single person who came to see me–except that one guy… fuck, there’s always one guy–spoke to me in ways that felt humanizing. Re-humanizing, even. That’s an audience I can address my words to.

So: HelloStoya.com… because that’s the gist of what y’all say to me when we first meet or see each other again. And because I *need* to be writing towards a group or individual in order to write at all.

(Mitcz installed stock WordPress, which means the comments section was automatically live. Clayton Cubitt once said he wasn’t interested in hosting anyone else’s Ids, and I tend to agree. But for now I’ll leave it open, and we’ll see how that goes.)

Thank you and xoxo,

52 Replies to “Hello World”

  1. Ahhh! “Hello world” reminds me of learning how to program. Then there’s the old telegraph/telephone first test.

    Welcome and looking forward to reading more of your blogs. Keep up the great work. Love the kitty.

    Be well, have a great day and keep warm!

    PS: books always come to mind Love reading.

  2. Hello, Stoya. Thank you for sharing your life, your feelings, and your art with us. I think you are fascinating, thoughtful (and yes, sexy as hell) woman, and I appreciate what you add to our world. Peace.

  3. As one who discovered you via your writing, stayed for the instagrams of one-eyed cats and drifted into supporting Trenchcoatx (in which I hope you’re still involved) as a way of supporting you, I’m glad to see “Writing-Stoya” back. I look forward to reading your missives in the future.

  4. I follow you for whatever you want to put out there, but mostly for your writing. More of your writing will be very welcome. Also whatever else you want to do.

  5. you’re an amazing person. you’re such a role model for me as an amateur nude model and progressive person that has struggled through my own traumas. i’m so glad you have this new platform. i think you’re a brilliant writer and artist and also my personal fave porno lady. i think about you and hope you’re doing ok all the time. best wishes.

  6. It’s great that you’re writing again. You’ve always come across as very intelligent and with a lot to say on many diverse topics. I’m very much looking forward to reading what you write here! 😃

  7. Stoya, Your true fans will find you and read your words and give you honest feedback. Haters aren’t worth losing sleep over as I learned years ago as a Vietnam Vet. BTW I met you briefly at EROTICA New Jersey last year and I treasure the picture you signed for me. Also I must admit I enjoyed the little smile that appeared on your face when you asked my name for the pic.

    Dick E.

  8. what a challenge the world is, but staying strong and finding your in it, that’s what makes your descriptions and observations so unique and relateable. thank you for that.

  9. It is good to know you are well and happy and writing. There was a great Virginia Woolf quote on Writer’s Almanac for her birthday. “Writing is a lot like sex. First, you do it for love. Then, you do it for your friends. And then, you do it for money.” TW

  10. So Happy to read you back, it’s been a while! I think we are quite a lot of people Who (respeteuously) admire and enjoy both your work as an actress as well as your writting, So please, don’t give a Damm about that aful minority of people thas sucks on the internet and out, they deserve nothing.

    Enjoy your New website! Thanks!

  11. Hello Stoya

    Writer’s block is a bitch, and not the good kind. I am personally glad you have worked your way through it and that you are back to writing.

    Poetry is a good Icebreaker because it can be fun and silly and deep and serious and can the ever-changing from stanza to stanza ( or, if you work for Seinfeld, from stanza to Costanza]

    Go to look in moving forward, and we will keep an eye out for your next piece

    ( and your comment about having a good editor is spot-on.)

  12. Hello Stoya.

    It’s nice to see you again, even though you don’t know me at all. I have missed you. I’ll just say that I’m glad to see you return to your writing. Best of luck, be safe, and fuck the internet.

  13. Hello Stoya,

    Welcome back to your passion in writing again. Looking forward to your thoughts and opinions. And hopefully garner discussion with all of your readers.

  14. Stoya,

    I’m glad your writing block is starting to allow your creativity to shine through once again!
    Don’t let the bastards grind you down, time here is short and ever fleeting, keep writing, keep living.

    – A fan of your mind

  15. That’s great news. The world needs all the sane, intelligent voices we can get in these troubled times. Looking forward to your contributions. Totally understand if you need to close comments – do whatever makes you feel good about writing.

  16. Hello Stoya!(and world)…. you might be a little bit of a computer nerd I see, haha. Here are some comments from a fan of yours who was a little late to the party.

    I have read some of your articles, watched some of your scenes, and followed you on twitter for a bit now. What amazes me is how down to earth, witty, and intellectual all of your writing is. Even small tweets are super witty and draw smiles and laughs. It is truly enjoyable to follow your social media and work because one honestly wants to hear what you are going to say or do next.

    Couple that with the sheer enjoyment in your eyes and on visible from your face in all your scenes as you work, I truly believe you are one of the best performers in the business. There is an underlying energy that you exude in your scenes, that only a handful of performers really have. Its that energy that only comes from the people that truly have no inhibitions and absolutely love the work for what it is.

    So please keep your chin up, you are an amazing person and are captivating to more people than you probably ever will know. Not all of us publicly show you the support you probably deserve for one reason or another, but you truly do deserve it. Keep on truckin’!

  17. Holy hell, you are smart as fuck in addition to being as sexy as hell. Atta girl. I look forward to reading your writing.


  18. I’m glad you’re getting back into writing, you certainly have a skill for it. That’s awful that scumbag trolls would threaten you and discourage you from it. I hope the parade of utter insanity that’s currently going on has emboldened you because we need more voices like yours to be raised up right now to inspire less confident minds who need a boost. Hello world indeed. Keep it up! ✊

  19. Hello Stoya, and welcome back! I missed your writing. Please accept this virtual hug as my own small contribution to making up for the assholes who chased you away. I’m so happy you’re able to laugh this stuff off now, and I wish I was better at that myself; certainly your example will help.
    — Jeff

  20. Well, “Hello world” for me is only an obvious reference to doing your first steps in programming… When you asks whether we get the reference, I lose my confidence, this seems too easy 🙂

  21. Hello Stoya.
    Glad to read that your back to doing more writing. I can imagine it got very rough and shittiy for a while. I hope it continues to be decent at the very least and hopefully welcoming.

    I am also pleased to hear that you where treated with some human deciency at the AVN/AEE event. I have never been of couse but it should be the norm not an exception.

    I’d like to read the poem for that newsletter, mostly out of pure curiosity.

  22. Welcome back, whilst I must admit that my wife and I became stoya fans because of how damn cute and non ‘porn star’ you are in your adult movies it was always your personality that made you so incredibly beautiful. You always glowed with a unique mischievous and light hearted aura, a rare thing in the world. And to somehow do this consistently across all of your movies in what I can only assume were not the easiest of circumstances is pretty special. Anyway, this is just a long winded way of saying that your writing is full of the same and whilst not always as visually simulating is a pleasure to read. And as a quick side note i have ‘hello world’ embroidered on the back of my Nike Air Ones. Geeks of the world unite.

  23. “Hello World”, nice reference for coming back online! I enjoy your writing, so do not be afraid of the internet. The internet can be bizarre most of the times, but take it with a grain of salt. Most people write random threats, because they feel tough behind a keyboard. Treating them with silence will strip their perceived “power” away . In most cases, internet is something not to be afraid of, unless you venture into the dark web/tor and make some enemies there . Notorious people live there 😛 Unlike the dark web, sites such as reddit, 4chan etc, are populated with keyboard warriors. There will always be beneficial exchange of infos on these platforms e.g. when I write a program or some technical question, otherwise the rest are just assholes without substance nor intent. So tread lightly, and enjoy the ride. Peace and Love Stoya and keep on writing dear!

  24. I’m really glad to see new writing from you. I like the motif of the site, and the domain name seems apropos. So, hello again. And I look forward to future entries.

  25. First of all, I get the reference. Nice!

    So.. welcome back at writing! I do hope your journey addressing “us” (humanizing people I guess) is full of good surprises and brings out the brilliance in you.

    I don’t go around broadcasting my personal life in blogs, so here’s a neutral example:

    Whenever you’re feeling blocked, not only while trying to write, but anything. Life is full of philosophy that can help you out. And I don’t mean the subject that you study in college, I mean wisdom of life experience.

    Try to imagine… a neutral meaningful scene. It may be from your movies or a moment from your life in general. It has to be meaningful and it has to be neutral, meaning that you are not either happy or sad about it. But meaningful in a way that gets you thinking. The question doesn’t matter.

    Imagine for example.. say.. When Adm. Adama says “Starbuck what do you hear?” in the BattleStar Galactica show, and Starbuck answers “nothing but the rain” and the Admiral goes on to say “grab your gun and bring the cat in”.

    It is like… your mind travels and becomes quiet for a while. Listening to the sound of silence… it may be a little paradoxal but I hope you understand the message.

    As Bruce Lee used to say “empty the vase before pouring more water in”.

    And if you ever want to talk about this stuff, writers block or whatever.. bird is the word.

  26. Hello Stoya!
    I am so happy you are writing again. I have loved your work since the first articles I read. Especially your NY Times article and your piece in Jiz Lee’s anthology “Coming out like a Porn Star”. Inspired writings! I got to meet you at Exxxotica this last fall in NJ. Saw your super cool (and honest) “talk”about sex with BINGO. You are amazing and awesome!!! Can’t wait for more…

  27. I for one am happy that you are writing again. It’s important for intelligent voices to be heard and to call out people on their boorish, dangerous, dehumanizing behaviors. Sex work is work. Sex workers are human and deserve respect. Period.

    Peace be with you.

  28. Hi Stoya!!

    Really nice to see you back with “pen-in-hand”, so to speak :)). I remember meeting you @ AVN 2013 near the end of your long day, and, you, so patient, spent a few minutes, accommodating my request for a picture, and just generally chatting about your day and work! Thank you :))

    Of course being a fan, I followed, you quite closely and learned to appreciate the multitude of various subjects you wrote about – from Japan to the Industry!! Through that time I became of fan of your “creative writing skills, and, like many others kept suggesting you should write a book :))

    Well at this point I’m just so happy to be able to look forward to subjects you’ll tackle and inform us about, whether they be serious or humorous!!

    Good luck with your new ventures and hope they bring lots of creativity, laughter and good “ole” plain new looks at stale and outdated thoughts on subjects of interest to you!! And, of course, we’ll undoubtedly enjoy fully :))

  29. A “Hello, world!” program is often used to introduce novice programmers to a programming language. In general, it is simple enough to be understood easily, especially with the guidance of a teacher or a written guide.

  30. hmmm… while you write as a specialist journalist your approach seems more suited to the short story. For some reason, I can imagine you an Clayton Cubitt collaborating on a book with a picture on one page and text on the facing page, the pictures being stills so that when one riffles the pages the pictures morph, flowing with the stor(ies).

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